sometimes even I am a little taken aback by how fast my tear flows at the thought of you.

People will probably say it's ok to cry, but I'm just so very worn out.

you move, like liquid gold. your steps light and purposeful yet vague.. absent-minded, bewildering. a pause stretches for infinity as you look, arms out akimbo as you seemingly ponder the mysteries of your world. you blink, slow and beautiful, lost, out-of-sync with this world, your natural rhythm always a step slower.

quiet you are, but yet you stand out, with the strange graceful awkward ease that comes to mark your every act. still, what goes on through your mind? you look but never seem to comprehend the complexities and intricacies of this world. your brain seems to be an endless sponge; you soak up but never speak a word.

I wonder about the many worlds that must exist in your head, yearning, so much, to explore all the secret passage ways and slides that connects these strange existence together.

and some things still hurt but wounds heal dear, they really do.

(:

this still makes me smile-

I remember in the last few weeks of our relationship, you acted like a kid when we went out on dates.

We would be holding hands, looking at stuff. I would say something to tease you, just a little. Suddenly you would fling my hand away, crossing your arms and stamping your feet, whining, even.

I would look stunned, and you almost hurriedly took my hand back again. I never knew what was going on through your mind then. Were you worried that I thought it too childish? Did I seem that stunned and shocked? Ah, but I wasn't. It was all silliness, and going back home I was still amused, my heart light with joy as I recall every movement, and thinking how lucky and blissful I was, to see so rare a side of you. Trying my very best, to tuck, every single second into my heart's treasure box, stuffing my memory's lockets with all your images.

I love you, and miss you, be it that it was all in the past.

this this this sums up what has been on my mind for so so long.