the threads in her head

I've lost my appetite again. And feel giddy. And everything.

Words that seems to be said only for the sake of being said. Words uttered to seek acceptance/forgiveness?
But of what use is an apology if it is not even certain whether the person uttering that word knows what he did wrong, how he had hurt the person? "Sorry if I did anything to make you angry." Anything?

A tangled maze of confusion.

One can deceive oneself. And when the art is mastered so that it becomes truth for that person...

What was I saying?

You know only half of the story. I know fully and it gives me headaches. A jungle of emotions, heartaches, desires, thoughts.

May I be allowed to rest in a mild soothing numbness again? And leaning towards you to hear what you say, replying before sinking back? It's so comfortable, so peaceful. And I don't have to think about other stuff then, just listening.

It has really been a pleasant memory.

But isn't it funny too? I yearn for a sense of security when I know the Lord is already protecting me. I desire a listening ear when the Lord is ever ready to listen to me. I long for human embrace when the Lord has me in his arms. I'm feel as if I'm straying from him yet he's still looking out for me.

Look at the world through rain-splattered lens.
Keep your mouth sealed.
Because I am just oh-so gullible.

I had to hear it from you.