the threads in her head

So heavy.

Have you ever experienced it? I think you would have. A heaviness of heart, one oh so very heavy. You sigh and sigh in order to try to get the weight out, but it refuses to. It stays there, overwhelming, just too much, too much.

It's nearly suffocating. Hurts so much. Yet in each shaky breath you draw in and huff out in order to drive it away, you know it'll stay there for a while more. It's smothering, yet you know you're still living while you're aching inside.

My heart, heavy in sorrow.

And as each fragile breath passes out through your mouth, tears slide down your cheek.
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On Friday, I saw a girl crying at the Ngee Ann Poly bus-stop. Her shoulder was heaving in great sobs and deep breaths, and her friend was patting her back.

I wondered then whether I would one day cry like that in public, when everyone else is there.
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To those who were there when I've cried -
Thanks for the whispers of "don't cry".
Thanks for the patting on my back.
Thanks for the tissue.
Thanks for not mentioning it after that.
Thanks for looking away.