the threads in her head

Oh hello. The world is stormy.

And it's raining raining all around me.

These droplets of fluid are able to sting like rock-solid ice. Sting like fire. They penetrate my clothing and I'm all cold on the outside. I'm shivering, I'm a pathetic bundle of nerves. Inside I'm feverish, sweating, the burden hard and heavy on my shoulders. I'm taking all the wrong steps apparently. Stuck in a maze.

Thankfully, even the hardest of maze has at the very least, one exit.

So that's a nice comfy thought, the kind of thought that makes you feel all fuzzy and warm, and you're able to lean back into soft cushions. You're wearing comfortable clothing, the temperature is nice and cool, your stuffed toys never looked more adorable or sweet. Your shoulders are relaxed..

In actual truth, the weather's been hot. My shoulders are tensed up. I have 4 stuffed toys, and they are lying on my bed with a bedsheet of a rather pretty shade of light green, but I am not on my bed. I am sitting in this rock hard chair, and I'm wondering if I should ask you for updates of the progress. But all of a sudden I am sick and tired

And the feeling seems never-ending. And that's how a maze brings you down. It traps you in, it gives you the feeling of never-ending twists and turns that lead to dead ends.

So the sun shines brightly, so bright and sunny, but it only heightens the shadows cast by all the obstacles. The dead end seems so much bigger.


I do not know how to handle that feeling of raw naked skin meeting fresh air.