the threads in her head

There are some experiences that are so pleasant.

Like sitting on the stairs, alone, away from the rest. Where there's something sturdy to lean against. And you're crouched low, in this place you can call your own for a little while. Warm warm, the sun shines on you and you can feel the comfortable sensation of heat crawling along your arms, around your neck, almost down to the small of your back. Tingly. Comforting. And your anger is dissolving, seeping away. You know without a doubt that right now, at this very moment, the sun is your friend. And you wonder how long you can stay there. It feels so delicious, so glorious. Still as you are, you could almost close your eyes now, surrendering yourself to this sensation, and fall asleep bathed in warmth and light. Peace.. it feels so safe.

But you shake yourself awake, and know you need to get back. Get back so that others won't be worried. So you stand up and walk back, slowly. Into a whole crowd of noisy youths. Vibrant atmosphere, a birthday cake lies on the table. Pretty, with puffs of white cream.

You take your place and sit down.

And then, you realise you are shivering here.