the threads in her head

in the darkness-

It is easy, to be depressed. Chart a number of ghostly figures in the clouds, hear the ebb of a fading voice.

Dream dreams, wild, foreign, the various hauntings of the past, his face, my fear, the past and the future mingling - one wild dishevelled girl calls out at the road that lies yonder ahead,

Come closer, closer, she sings a charming lullaby, light and lilting, sweet, a voice of honey, crafted exquisitely; so be the witchcraft that faeries lay. Closer, closer, still she sings, her voice melodious and fluid, her face a blur of mist. She beckons, like the sweetest of mothers, the most caring of sisters, the loving girlfriend.

Come-hither. Elegant, so full of winning grace, seemingly of gentle descent. Be she lost? Poor little lady - save poor was not fit for a lady of such willowy beauty, dressed in her flowing whites and the full picture of purity.

The road flows beneath, as if there was no need for one to move - she would come to you, even if you not to her. Slowly and slowly brought up to her, her entire figure still radiant and luminescent, as beautiful as the pearly white moon that glowed above, framed gently the softest of dark blue.

But pause you, wait. What fierce fear it is that has suddenly clutched round my heart, tight, wrenching, smothering. What weight there is suddenly around, why here, why now, what, where, when, how, NO!-

So dark, so dark, a fear so thick and strong it is all around, it is beneath the bed which I lie, it is above me in the sky, it is in the air which I breathe, it goes through my nose and into my lungs and make dark my heart and blinds my eyes and I can't see I can't see what is this what is this what is this what's going on why can't I see, where is she, where was she, the lady, the girl, where am I, I can't see, my eyes are open they're open they're wide open but it's all dark, it's all dark dark dark there's nothing to be seen not even my hand, not even my fingers where are my fingers where are me,

In the midnight hours she wrenches open her eyes and awake.

But there is only darkness, darkness, all around.