the threads in her head

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A late evening journey from pattaya back to bangkok. It had been a long day at the beach. We had played in the sea water, made friends with some other tourists, laughed happily at the little girl that kept licking her lips for the salt of the sea, rode on the banana boat, capsized, laughed until we had tummy aches, shared food, ate ice cream, showered, feel refreshed.

A day of fun results in a van full of sleepyheads. I sleep, eyes drooping into a peaceful deep sleep, perfectly oblivious.

Yet safe.

I wake up, feeling rested, to find my head really close to his shoulder. Slightly disoriented, mildly embarrassed for the moment, I then reasoned with myself, no I couldn't possibly have slept on his shoulder, he's driving.

Still, a feeling of closeness has settled in. It is peaceful in the van, quiet. Everyone is asleep, or in their own thoughts. I sit up straighter to look at the view outside. We are zipping along the expressway - 110km/hour woah! But there are little cars on the expressway, and he is a steady and smooth driver. Somehow in that moment I find myself thinking to myself how amazing he is, to fight sleepiness and just drive us all safely back.

Suddenly he turns round and asks if I want to listen to music from his phone. I nod. He passed me one of his ear buds. Music fills my ears, and there we sit, listening to music, tapping in rhythm. He taps his finger on the driving wheel, the side of the car, while I tap with my palm on my bag. The sense of closeness wells up all over again. Safe, in a cosy van, driving, driving, back home.

***

Not particularly handsome. And old! But a small wish in my heart that he was my elder brother, or something.

The rest of the little days we had left I spoke to him more. He made me laugh, a lot. Somehow, somehow, he always manages to spot when I'm taking a picture of him half of the time and poses immediately (I want natural shots rarhhh!). Laughs at me when I try to play the guitar, but in a nice way, before showing me the correct way to press, and hold. Listens intently when I test out the sound.

Ask me whether I'm okay. Translate stuff for me. Laughs at my jokes. Tells me I can share his food. Let me tease him for being fat and then replies, "you can share my fats!" Scares me when I'm walking by thumping on the glass of the walkway I walk by. Act innocent when I confront him. Follows me to the toy shop when I want to go in. Passes me coins when I'm out of coins saying, "don't worry, don't worry" his voice going up at the last few syllabus in a nice lilt. Pays for my drink in the end and takes my bundle of coins. Laughs with me over the "eye brighter" smoothie and put his fingers to his eyes, widening it and making them "sparkle" after he takes a sip of it. Tells me he doesn't like sweet stuff. Wear silly sunglasses when I point it out to them. Pose for a picture in aforementioned sunglasses.

Little little silly stuff that makes me laugh.