the threads in her head

words lurking in my sms drafts-

I remember the way you would lean over me, running your fingers through my hair before giving me a wet kiss on my forehead. Your close tight hugs as you pull me closer, strong hugs that still sends a tingle down my spine when I think about it, comforting hugs to recall when I feel most alone and am crying.

I remember how I always tease you about being ah pek.

But it's not all good. As I hook my rubber band onto my braces I think about how you once got angry when I gave your ah pek dessert a try. You asked if the atap chees were soft. "They are, very!" I say, comparing them to previous atap chees I had eaten, forgetting you had braces on.

You tried one.

And then you got angry, and declared you'll never trust me again, because I'm a liar.

I remember, and there is a sense of balance amidst the tension of memories. And I fall asleep, peacefully. Not longing. Not sad.